Reflections

I think I'm getting worse at updating this. I feel like it's because things feel a little stalled these days, but really, there's plenty going on. I'm working two jobs (each part time) while applying furiously for more professional offerings. And I have some good leads there (hopefully something definitive will come of one of them after another interview this Friday)...but it really is quite frustrating to be several months out of school and well, let's face it, a couple months past 30. Don't get me wrong, part of me fully agrees that age is just a number, and one's sense of accomplishment is really a personal reference and nothing more (in which case I have a lot to feel accomplished about). Yet...there's that nagging voice in the back of my head that ever-so-lightly whispers, "you should be further".

Further with what? My career? A home? Relationships? The funny thing is, it doesn't matter where I am with these things...where I think my friends and family are with these things...everyone has those same moments of wishing they had more or did better, and those same thoughts that everyone else is ahead of them in the game.

When I earned my salaried position at Disney, I had to take a lot of courses for new leaders. Some people kind of blew them off because the often seemed irrelevant to doing one's day-to-day job. I figured it was free training, and no matter how irrelevant on the outside, they could hold some small grain of usefulness. One course, Diversity Training, certainly seemed tailor made for eye rolls and yeah-yeah-we-get-it-you're-wasting-our-time complaints; and perhaps it could have been. I honestly don't remember much of the class other than one exercise outside where all of us in the class stood at one end of the yard while the instructor read off phrases about "success". For each phrase that applied to us, we either took a step forward or back. The phrases were things like "completed high school? take 1 step forward" or "if you are born an American, take 1 step forward" or "if you are a woman, take 1 step backward". It was QUITE clear, early on, that the questions were meant to put a white, middle class, able-bodied, american man to the front of the yard. So you're thinking, "yeah yeah...some people have natural advantages in life, but we have to learn to appreciate everyone and not discriminate"...because at the back you would find someone foreign, probably more women, and probably someone who grew up poor. I think at the end of our exercise, an asian man and a black woman were at the very back...I was somewhere in the middle.

I will say it's been several years since this class, but after the exercise we were told to look at who was where in the yard, and then discuss "success". I know I don't remember it exactly, but a lot of people talked about having completed things like school and starting a family as being the definition of success...or becoming American and reaching a certain job level. That was all fine, but you had to remember we were ALL in this class as NEW salaried leaders at Disney...so the instructor seemed to be pointing out that we were all at some similar successful point. I just had to speak up then... I said that sure, we were all "here", but the questions which put someone in front of the field are misleading. How many white men these days feel successful just for being white men? Or how many women feel unsuccessful just for being women? I know I've felt discriminated against for being a woman in some things, but I'll admit that at least once, I know I was hired just for being a woman too (and yes, I was still really good and worthy of the job). But it was WRONG to assume that just because we couldn't answer "yes" to more of the "assumed positive" questions, did NOT mean that any of us felt less successful. Perhaps if you grew up poor, but now made a respectable income, you might consider that wildly successful (remember when you didn't have to buy the knockoff Oreos anymore? oh yeah...that feels good! ;)...or you might consider making a big move (ahem, Vancouver!) a huge step and worthy of that warm inner fuzzy that goes with accomplishing something BIG for YOU!

Believe it or not, I rarely like to speak up in some of these classes (people from home and some from college might agree...other college friends and people from Florida or Vancouver probably wonder when I ever shut up ;)...but it just seemed to me that people might be taking away the wrong thing: That success was again something you compare against others as opposed to within yourself. At the time, the instructor didn't seem to be correcting the view, so I really think they weren't emphasizing Diversity far enough. Instead of just viewing things as to how race, religion, income, and disability can put people unfairly "ahead" or "behind", I think you had to view diversity on an individual level...Diversity of your own dreams and accomplishments, because believe me, that's Diversity you can be proud of, and we can all celebrate.

With that in mind, here are a few things I like to remember that I've accomplished...especially when times are tough (like looking for that great, awesome job)....all goals that I've accomplished or fun things I've done...before turning 30!

1. Earned 2 degrees and always graduated with some kind of academic honor
2. Worked for Disney
3. Lived in Canada
4. Traveled to Europe, especially Paris
5. Been on a cruise (three!)
6. Vacationed in Vegas
7. Gone skiing
8. Gotten my cats
9. Driven across the U.S. and visited lots of places in the U.S.
10. Learned karate
11. Met John Lasseter
12. Watched the credits of a movie and actually did one of the jobs I've always said I would do (Foley artist!)
13. Saw a show on Broadway (The Producers)
14. Performed at Disney World - in marching band and in the cast choir for Candlelight Processional
15. Have been to Disneyland
16. Become an Aunt
17. Have Gone to the movies any time I felt like it
18. Have swam in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans
19. Have had my own apartment
20. Have owned my own car
21. Have visited Niagara Falls
22. Have gone swing dancing to the Brian Setzer orchestra in front of Cinderella Castle at Disney World
23. Have ridden roller coasters and watched fireworks for my birthday, several times
24. Have played softball on a team called "Pain & Panic" and I painted the team shirts
25. Have been first flute in band
26. Have hand made sets of wedding invitations for friends and been a bridesmaid 3 wonderful times
27. Have ridden a bike in heels and a skirt just to prove I could (yes, In hills-as-mountains Vancouver!)
28. Have lived in 3 states and 1 Canadian province
29. Have visited islands in the Bahamas and been to Mexico
30. Have dressed up for opening night of a movie to go with the "theme"

There are more things of course...but these are good ones. And I never forget my great relationships with family and friends. I certainly think has made all the other experiences that much richer!

And yes, there is an ENTIRE list of things I still want to do!